Educates the good next generation, not only relates the family the happiness, will also relate the country the future, nationality's future. Each guardians expected that the child can Cheng Long become the phoenix, in the future will become the useful talent, can perform good deeds. But now many parents, how to educate in the question which the children mature, still could not get rid of the traditional ideas fetter, has walked into the erroneous zone in the education method, causes the child to be unable the healthy development. They do not have to understand the education which truly, is defeated, does not have defeat's child these words meaning, but requests the child constantly like this or such; Realizes another them the goal which establishes for the child, but ever did not consider that did not understand is a qualified guardian. They from thought that understands the education very much, actually marched into the education erroneous zone in unconscious.
Is eager for quick success and immediate gain, does not teach students in accordance with their aptitude
Many guardians expected that the children have the knowledge compared to oneself, but does not give a thought to child's objective reality. Uses the high standard to request the child, premature carries on the intelligence development to the child: Let also write in the kindergarten child study, makes the arithmetic, spoke English, recites the Tang poem, dances steps, not only this has eliminated the child joyful happy childhood, but also has been strangling child's instinct and the individuality imperceptibly, even causes the tragedy.
Many guardians see others' child study piano, the swimming, must let own child study; Looks at others' child study dance, the drawing, also always feared that own child are dropped. No matter some guardians radically child whether to have the interest in these aspects, whether to have this aspect talent, wishfully reports like this such class by all means for the child, every day results in child's time arrangement Man Man.
A guardian leads the son to learn to play the piano, after teacher looked at child's hand, suggested that the child changes study other musical instruments. This guardian is not glad very much, must insist that lets the son study piano. Finally, each time teacher teaches a new fingering, other child very quickly on academic society, but her son does not meet study piano's congenital requirement, shoots is not very nimble, also, because she always sits nearby the child, causes the child psychology to be anxious, always cannot learn. When this guardian sees the skill skill which in the class 4 year-old children already learned, when 6 year-old son had already not grasped, cannot bear knocks child's hand, does not stop scolds the child, causes the child to play a stringed musical instrument does not have the interest more and more, more studies more does not have the confidence.
Not come singly but in pairs. Has a child's father in Chongqing, the only their wish must raise the child the pianist. Every day economical in everyday spending, he has bought a piano for the son, stipulated that only then 5 year-old son day in day out wants to practice for several hours. The child is not interested to the ball piano, could also not withstand the long time to practice the huge pain which every day the qin brought, has destroyed the piano finally, drank the phosphate insecticide, poured nearby the piano.
But another calls Hunan Hunan's guardian,dresses for girls, she gives the child not eagerly the definite interest goal, but consciously lets the child contact some related extracurricular interest activity, lets the child feel artistic the first mysterious charm. And, she ever not excessively many requests the child, but more gives the child to encourage and to support, lets the child in praise and in the drive atmosphere, deepens and consolidates own hobby methodically. Whenever the child makes the little progress, she and the family member promptly will give encourage and praise. Will obtain the approval diligently, the child more and more will have naturally the power.
The Hunan Hunan tells the author, her child is insists like this study the piano, finally tested 10 levels. She said: When the child is interested to some matter time, do not be impatient, must observe the child is really suitable to be engaged in this specialty, even if is really suits, must give the child one to adapt slowly, the growth process, cannot finish in a hast. Even if their child had not found temporarily is interested the matter, also cannot think that own child are inferior to other child. The ruler has short, the inch has manager. Each child's interest is dissimilar, but always has equally is suits own, suits own is best, the guardian impatient can only bury or kill child's interest and the hobby.
Thought that teaches the child to be stricter is better
The parents often provide many excessively meticulous help for the child, carries on the strict management to the child. For instance, the child writes the work time, the guardian is not sits in the child side knits the woolen sweater, is sits nearby the child watches the television, will think only then such child only then honestly to complete the work. And when many, the guardian is accustomed to forces the child strictly according to theirs will conduct.
As the guardian, they are not train the child to inspect the work earnestly the good custom, but each time must kiss the strength to kiss is; They were not let child find the making the mistake topic the reason and the correct problem solving method, but talked incessantly, shouted abuse. The guardian will perhaps say: Is teacher wants the guardian to supervise the child to study every day, inspects the child work. Have never realized, they have misunderstood teacher's original intention completely, because the child lacks the study since childhood self-consciousness, teacher is hoped that the guardian can with the school coordination, supervise the child to study, cares about child's growth together, but is not lets the guardian thus and such and such die the child tube.
A somebody who has been through passerby, saved key high school second grade student Aunt Li Xing saying:The guardian is defending the child every day, is the good means not necessarily. This will cause the child will encounter the difficulty when the study to rely on the parents seriously. Did some guardians even make child's accompanying in studies, where the child have learned, where did the guardian also learn. As the matter stands, the child naturally will foster relies on guardian's custom and the inertia. Slowly, the child examines radically cannot find out in oneself work the mistake, as soon as or meets difficultly detours, but line.
Li Xing said: My mother is a reporter, because works busily, she always boldly drops to let me manage itself. She is first carries on one week strict teaching to me, lets me draw up the learning program, how tells me any matter to do. Then discussed again with me that asked I am willing to let mother manage want myself to manage itself, I said certainly that wanted itself to manage itself! Mother said: Good, lets you manage itself. If you may manage well truly yourself,（Related Articlesbillabong kids swimwear [baby summer clothing Xiu]Crystal treasure ultra multi summer clothing）, moreover can have every day oneself a point small progress, mother later gives this authority release you. Therefore, I became in our schoolmate to be possible to manage my only student.
I was thinking every day how should arrange the time. Besides completes the work which well teacher arranges, I also thought that many means their progress, are made let mother the happy matter. Mother got off work to be very late frequently, gets in the home I already to fall asleep. I always the busy book which must sign place mother's head, in that page which needs to sign clamps a small note, above is writing mother, please sign in this page writes down from memory mother, please sign the dictation in this page. Sometimes, I receive me the matter which teacher praises, but also has my progress also to write on the note. Mother in signs to me, will frequently inscribe the treasure, is very good, continues to try hard! I and mother nearly are by this way exchange, but I can actually my manage very well. Not only I had belonged to my space and the freedom, but also has formed the aware study good habit, has exercised my autonomy ability.
I am in mother's this kind of drive adds under the elasticity education administration pattern to grow. Although was already the province key high school's student, but I knew that outside the mountain has the mountain, the knowledge is infinite. In the study, forever some people in mine front, what I must do will be the challenge, is had oneself each day progresses.
Many guardians said: Li the star possibly belongs to the child who that kind is obedient specially, such method is not definitely suitable to our family's child, our family's child is specially mischievous, your a while does not look at him, he holds to you any matter.
Aunt Li Xing said: Actually, each children have the sense of honor, vies for supremacy tries to outdo others, so long as you trust you fully the child, drops to let him boldly manage itself, he will imagine you must be more splendid. For instance, rewards lips; Hugs the child transfers; Let the child look like the little ape to be the same, climbs up mother this big tree; The investment and the child make some games ......So long as completes these, you have succeeded half. If the child has any accident or the matter has not completed, do not criticize the child severely, should give the understanding and the comfort, should let the child see own ability are enhancing day-by-day. Child's ability enhanced, the confidence strengthened, has formed naturally the independent study good habit, even if encounters the difficulty, also will frustrate is braver, but will not be disheartened, was defeated.
Only looks at the score, heavy wisdom light Germany
Many guardians believed wrongly that the intellectual instruction is the only channel which the child matures. Can test the high score for the child, they do not give up let the child do a housework. In the school, they feared that the child is being tired, does not let the child be the class cadre, does not permit the child to participate in the public welfare work, they even said to the child: So long as you study, anything may not let you do. They asked teacher except the flowered large sum of money to make up for a missed lesson, give back to the child to hire the life maid. The child tested the high score, the parents has beamed with joy, gives each kind of reward; The child has tested the low score, will then receive each kind of penalty. The guardian too cares about child's score, lets the score lead by the nose, and believed one-sidedly, whether the score weighs the child outstanding sole criterion.
A province experiment elementary school student's guardian Li is clean, her child on just first grade. The first semester end-of-the-term examination, she is much more anxious. She said: You did not know that I worry seriously. My son does not know the study, only knows plays, this test tests is not good, the language tested 89 points, mathematics has tested 93 points. I said; Only knows plays, but can also test such well, your son is the talent. You added that he is the talent, he does not know studies hard,kids clothes, as soon as goes home to play.
This result you also dislike not well, you also want to be what kind of? He only then many big? The child instinct is very mischievous, if knows the study all day, you can worry that what problem he did have problems or has? You did not know that he the first 20 famous metropolises cannot stand in line continually in the class. The son tests what kind of result, you are only then happy? Is at least in the class first three. How many then you the work can arrange in the unit? Or, in the colleague, how many your achievement can arrange at? As soon as she listens to me to ask her like this, oneself embarrassed smiled.
The author interviewed 20 elementary student guardians, 18 guardians are excessively high to child's expected value,koala baby boutique clothing, looks at specially the score importantly. They only knew that lets the child study constantly, for fear that their child study little compared to other child, tests the score number to be low.
If child which time hasn't tested, the guardian adds together to the child slander or the complexion looked for the child, does this result; first, wound and child's self-respect; Second, lets the child not be more and more self-confident; Third, causes the child to produce becomes fed up study the mood.
Some guardians in raise child's way, contract anxious sickness or the obsession. For instance child mathematics has not tested the perfect score, has only tested for more than 90 points, mostly in the situation is not because of the child cannot, but because careless. These guardians are not help the child to change the careless problem, but thought that the question is very serious, increases the extra study duty constantly to the child, lets time which the child has not played nearly.
Also has some guardians, to be studied own child is better than other child, the use winter and summer vacation time, will let the child study next semester's curriculum ahead of time. Makes up greatly for the child, makes up the new knowledge wickedly, always worried that the child in breathes heavily the tone instantance, front other child will run up. Guardian this kind vies for supremacy excessively the psychology which tries to outdo others, not only has eliminated the right which the child plays, will also cause the child to study wearily, the efficiency will be low, even to will study loses the interest, will produce becomes fed up study the mood. And what is more, the child will have the rebellious attitude, will treat with the guardian is doing. More treats is doing, the guardian more is thought that such child is incurable. Once the child has become the incurable child in teacher and in guardian's eye, the child to oneself, to teacher, will lose the confidence to the guardian.
Front talks about Li Xing, she has a mathematics test not to pass an examination, but also some summer vacation work has not done nearly. Although her mother also is very at heart annoyed, actually has not displayed, but is helps the daughter to seek the reason benignly: Why hasn't tested? Does not like mathematics? Originally the question appears the reason was mathematics teacher has arranged many works for the student, pressed the child not to gasp for breath, the child therefore tired of study! Mother had reported to teacher this situation, solicits teacher's suggestions, has a look to be able little to arrange some works, or will already do may not do or little do. Moreover, she also requests teacher: Can is progressive in my daughter, for her a spot small encouragement.
Teacher accepted her suggestion, the Li Xing mathematics result enhanced very quickly. To child's attention and reasonable interference, although is very necessary, but cannot and the child is walking completely by oneself with teacher's music director stick, becomes the score slave.
The guardian cares about the score excessively the phenomenon no doubt with our country present entering a higher school, the ployment system related, but also concerns with guardian's understanding. The reason that many guardians have not realized the child to be able to test the high score, besides intelligence factor, but also many non-intelligence factor, like will, quality, disposition, will, work idea, interpersonal relationship, social general knowledge and so on. If lacks these non-intelligence factor, only the knowledge dies is a bookworm, spins all day in the work circle, even if the child can test the high score, also very difficult to let the talented person who he becomes the high quality.
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